That went well. Putting the chapter in first person, one of the kids' POV, made it easier to show the difference between the characters and made it more immediate. It also made the reactions easier to describe and gave me more latitude for what I hope are amusing observations.
For the most part, the kids in Tori's class seemed to like it. They laughed where I thought they would. I did lose them a little while the kids (in the story, not the classroom) were changing the tire, too much detail there apparently. Maybe I was over-influenced by the fact that I had to change a tire myself just a couple of weeks ago. Ah well, easy to edit down later.
Two of the kids – Ryan and Peaches – said they had trouble following in the first person, that they had trouble focusing on who was talking. So that's something to think about, but I really think it wasn't the voice so much as the fact that the voice changed, I had been writing third person and suddenly it's first, and even though I explained to them what I was doing and why, the shift may have been a problem. I suggested to both that I'd keep doing it this way for a few more chapters and see if they didn't get into it.
Because I really think this was an important switch.
Chance was written first person. Gladys was third But both books were told from a single character's POV. This book has four main characters and the perspective is going to shift from chapter to chapter. Which is a lot more work for me in getting it right.
But get it right I must.
Won't get much work on Bones today. Have two news stories to do for the Source. It's not as exciting, but it pays the bills.